


Retrouvailles

by Rainpebbles



Series: Mutant 'Verse [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mutants, Angst, Cliffhangers, Everybody misses everybody, F/M, I have no self control, M/M, Pining, Recovery, Rescue Missions, The Lightwoods Deserve Nice Things, slow burn becomes a flame???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27268108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainpebbles/pseuds/Rainpebbles
Summary: In the aftermath of escaping from Valentine and Jonathan, the team find themselves broken in more ways than one. Split up and forced into hiding, they all begin to come to the realization that they will never feel whole again...unless they bring the family back together.The whole family.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Mutant 'Verse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1084950
Comments: 34
Kudos: 79





	1. Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> AND WE'RE BACK!!!!!!!
> 
> Hello all!!!! That you for still sticking with me on this, I'm blown away by the encouragement and kind words you all have to say about this series :D Finally we get to kick off with the next installment of the series, one that MANY of you have been waiting for ;) I really hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Note: This will be a "short" story for me. Short being, less than 40k words I believe??? It is supposed to be a transition story to lead into a large (I won't say finale, because the series could still continue after) climax fic. So don't freak out! I don't actually know when/if I'll ever finish writing for this series. The next one will just be a definitive shift to a new plot line...that I have yet to solidify :)

_“It hurts, Alec. Please make it stop.”_

_Alec cradled the small freckled hand in his own, hating how both of them were trembling from two very different kinds of pain. This had been Max’s third treatment, and they weren’t getting any easier for him. They never got easier for anyone really, and Max was just so small and young. Far younger than Alec had been when he had gotten his first treatment. He remembered spending every hour of that night awake and writhing in agony as his entire body felt like it was burning. Every cell screaming out as it was mutilated by whatever concoction that the scientists had come up with to ‘help’ him. He remembered calling out for his brother and sister, both of whom were still back at their desolate and sad home._

_Now though, two years after that night both of his siblings had arrived at the facility and were also being subjected to whatever the hell the nurses were pumping into their arms. Guilt always stabbed at him like a knife when he thought about how happy he was that his siblings were back at his side, because what kind of big brother would wish this place on people he loved more than anything?_

_“Just keep breathing, Maxy. Try to focus on something else. What about that comic I got you the other day, tell me about it,” Jace said brightly, his handsome face betraying his sadness at watching Max suffer before them._

_Alec’s lips twitched in a farce of an encouraging smile, “Yeah, I want to hear all about Metal Man and the Averagers.”_

_“It’s Iron Man and the Avengers,” Max ground out between clenched teeth, “Who would even bother reading a comic series that focused on a group of heroes called the Averagers.”_

_Izzy chuckled from where she was half curled up like a sleepy cat next to Max, “He’s got a point, Alec. Unless it’s led by Average Joe and his band of suburban dads and soccer moms, that’s a dumb title.”_

_“It really is, next you’ll be asking me about the Intermediate Hunk and Corporal Australia,” Max said, a small smirk forming around the grimace of his mouth._

_Jace laughed, triggering the rest of them to join him. They kept their voices low though. They weren’t supposed to be in here, not after curfew. They just hated leaving any of their little group alone the night the nurses stopped by to hook them up to another IV. Jace had lived here his whole life though. He knew how to get around without being spotted, when the nurses rotations were, and all the best hiding places. He couldn’t believe how lucky they were to have Jace as a friend in here. He was brave, smart, and had promised to protect them all. He had also spent nights like this when it was just him and Alec here, memories that Alec would treasure always._

_Alec had already had his abilities for a month or so when he met Jace, but the treatments continued even after that. They’d only known each other for a week when the nurses had stopped by Alec’s room, IV stand at their side. While Alec had been preparing himself for an agonizing and lonely night, Jace had already been climbing through the air vents to drop down by Alec’s bed the moment the nurses left. He could remember crying as Jace cradled his hand that night, the blond boy asking him if the pain was getting worse. Alec had shook his head, and admitted that he was crying because he was so relieved that he didn't have to go through it alone. The shocked look on Jace's face almost made Alec laugh, but he had stopped short of it when Jace's fingers clenched even tighter around his sweaty palm._

_"You'll never have to be alone again. I promise," he said, his voice strong and steady, despite the desperation in his eyes. He would never have admitted then, but he never wanted be alone again either._

_After that night, both of them made sure to sneak into each others room for each any every treatment, never missing one even when Izzy and Max came._

_Maybe their presence helped Max a bit, but they all knew that the pain was still there. Alec wished he could just magic it away, but his only talent lay in gardening it seemed. Izzy’s mutation had only just started to pop up in the last two weeks, her claws sprouting after encountering some bullies. Ferals were everywhere around here, so Alec already knew that she would be unlikely to be able to help Max either. Max’s ability hadn’t shown up yet as far as they knew. A little part of Alec wished he got nothing, that he would be able to remain normal, not become a freak like the rest of them, but the other part of him wished Max got the most incredible gift of anyone here. Like wings that he could use to fly the fuck out of here. Or invisibility, so he could walk right out after keying Valentine’s shiny car._

_Max hissed loudly, snapping Alec’s focus back on his little brother._

_“Shh, shh. It’ll be over before you know it,” he said softly._

_“That’s a lie,” Max said boldly._

_Jace’s brows raised as did Alec’s, neither of them recalling such small kids having such conviction when accusing older people of lying. Awkwardly, Alec cleared his throat, “How about we talk about something else?”_

_“Like what?”_

_Alec’s mouth hung open, “Ahh…the weather?”_

_Izzy shook her head, scoffing, “Really? How about we talk about what it’ll be like when we escape from here?”_

_Jace tensed, his eyes becoming narrow and paranoid as he quickly scanned the room for any devices that may be listening in. He must not have noted anything as he muscles eventually relaxed slightly and he settled back against the wall he was standing against._

_Max though finally looked like he wanted to listen._

_“Well, it won’t be fun at first. We’ll have to find a place with no street cameras or security drones. But once we find a place then we will get to make it our own any way we want,” Alec started._

_“In the country! We’ll get a little cottage or farmhouse. Lots of land where we can have lots of space to run around, and maybe keep animals in a barn,” Izzy added excitedly, her claws slightly extending as she daydreamed about running free._

_“Can we have a library for books? I love learning stuff,” Max said._

_“You bet your ass, dude,” Jace said fondly._

_“Language,” Alec scolded, but his words held no heat. He was just enjoying the moment here with those he cared about most, wishing he could take them all there now. It sounded perfect, but he was old and cynical enough to know that no matter what they dreamed up, they were unlikely to get such a home while on the run. He knew they were destined for little more than crowded dingy apartments and crappy no-name jobs. He just couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, not when Max was finally smiling for real._

_“I’ll only allow a farmhouse if we can get one of those really hairy cows that look like cousin It, whatever they’re called,” Alec said in mock sternness. Max giggled._

_“You mean Highland cows.”_

_Jace looked over at Max, slightly baffled, “How’d you know that? Your comics have cow breed standards or something?”_

_Max’s smile faded as he looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully, “I—I just know? I must have overheard it somewhere…”_

_Izzy shrugged, “Guess so. Highland cow it is. Now, what kind of car should we get?”_

_“A nice sensible minivan.”_

_Jace groaned, “Jesus, Alec…”_

* * *

Alec awoke with the deep ache of regret and shame blanketing him. Those weren’t new emotions when it came to thinking about what had happened to his little brother, but they were far stronger now that he had the bitter taste of false hope on his tongue for a moment. Like a sweet fruit that suddenly turned sour in his mouth. Lingering for days after.

A lot of things left a bitter taste these days. It had only been about a few days since their showdown with Valentine, and while Magnus and the team had been wholly and honestly forgiving for his actions, his stomach still clenched every time he thought about what he had done. He and Magnus hadn’t even been successful in either of their plans to save Clary or to get information on Max. All they did was cause more trouble and almost get the team killed. Alec almost got the team killed. By his own hands even. And they had nothing to show for it.

“Darling, please stop thinking so hard. It’s far too early.”

Alec glanced over his shoulder to where Magnus’ sleepy and disgruntled face was half peering up at him from the pillow, “Sorry Mags, just…dreams,” he finished lamely. In the past he may have poured all his thoughts out for Magnus, to see what the Psychic could make of them, but he held back. He knew that Magnus felt as guilty about Max’s situation now as the rest of the Lightwoods. He wouldn’t burden him with that. Not now when he looked so exhausted.

With a weary sigh, Alec started to roll off the bed only to be stopped when strong and warm arms latched on around his waist, tugging him back, “And just where do you think you’re going?” Magnus asked.

“I was just going to…walk around I guess. I don’t want to keep you up with my overactive brain.”

“Aren’t you tired? You still have dark marks under your eyes and Cat said you needed as much rest as possible,” Magnus reminded him, placing a gentle kiss onto Alec’s bare shoulder.

Alec nodded, reveling in the feel of Magnus lips against his skin. Wondering how the hell someone like him still wanted to be with a failure like Alec, “I’m exhausted, but I can’t shut my brain off.”

“Will you let me do it for you, Angel?”

This kind of question would have never passed the Psychics lips anytime before a few days ago. It was wonderful to see Magnus finally become comfortable using his push abilities to help the team, no longer thinking it made him a monster. If anything good came out of this mess, it was Magnus learning to love himself and his abilities.

Alec sighed, reaching out to grab hold of one of Magnus’ ringed hands, placing a kiss of his own on the knuckles there, “Of course. Thank you.”

Magnus smiled at his softly as he raised two fingers to trace along Alec’s temples as feelings of love, warmth and peace slowly washed over his mind, making every muscle loosen as he reached serenity.

“Sleep well, my love,” was the last thing Alec heard whispered before he fell back into a dreamless sleep.


	2. The Break Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke makes a major decision for the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooooooooooooooooooo, here we go!!!!! Chapter 2!!!!! Thank you for everyone who checked in on the new story, it's absolutely unbelievable that you all have stuck with me so far and I am so grateful!!!!
> 
> Also, OOPS! This story was supposed to be 11 chapters of fast paced plot, but like I sneezed and 2 chapters of fluff came out instead >.< No telling how much more there will be, but we've upgraded to 13 chapters projected.
> 
> Note: Holidays are coming up, so my normal writing schedule may or may not be blown to hell? I would expect at least two more chapters posted before the end of the year though.

The following 48 hours after the team had truly and wholly survived their encounter with Valentine and all the surrounding disasters regarding that were chaotic in such a way that everything outside of their small team felt a world away. Muted. Unimportant. Forgotten.

They had pulled Clary back from the brink of death and its accompanying destruction. They had freed Alec’s mind from Valentine’s hold. And they had finally cleared the Ferals from any remaining influence from their time infected with the serum.

It was during those days of hope, joy and elation that they all forgot about everything else that would come next. And when the dawn of that third day came, it was like being slapped in the face by the sunrise.

Alec had finally recovered enough that Luke felt it was time for the team to hear from Magnus and him about what had happened during their captivity. It was during that painful recollection that they finally let it come to light that Jonathan was far more than a glorified bodyguard to Valentine.

First, that he was the son of the madman, and brother to Clary. Something she regarded in true Clary fashion, with complete and utter disregard for common sense and the observations of others. Magnus had tried to explain that Jonathan was truly an ally to Valentine, touched by the same madness as his father, something the Psychic had felt in true force while exposed to his mind in the field that day. He told her about how he gleefully tortured Alec physically and Magnus mentally, but she held firm that she would not write her own brother off as an enemy until she could see and feel his aura for herself. Magnus supposed it was a sign of a kind and wholesome heart that she took such a stand, but really, he doubted that even if Clary made amends with him that Magnus would ever greet him with open arms into their lives. Perhaps hands filled with weapons, but not open and empty arms. He knew that Alec would be right there with him on that front.

Second, Magnus shared the news that Jonathan was no normal mutant. He had said he was everything, meaning there was more than just the Feral and Psychic abilities that he’d shown so far, and that they needed to be ready for anything if they ever encountered him again.

And that led to the third and most concerning news of all. The bit of information that would have Luke jumping up from his chair and dialing every emergency line in his phone.

Jonathan was a _Telepath._

A telepath had been in a room with two members of their team for hours, and exposed to the rest of their team during their fight. They had no way of knowing the extent of the security breach they were looking at. Would he have bothered to dig through their memories for codes, locations, data? Was he even capable of that? Had he learned of their weaknesses and strengths? Did he know where the medical clinic was?

And most damning of all, did he know where their home base was?

Within two hours of Magnus telling them, Luke had damn near mobilized the entire mutant network that they had built, putting them all on high alert, giving them the choice to run or stand their ground until they could determine the extent of Jonathan’s knowledge and Circle Corps plans. He’d even given the same choice to Catarina, who bravely said that she would stand her ground in case any mutant came to her in need. It was with tears in her eyes though that she told Dot to take Madzie to a new safehouse that Simon was already working to set up for them.

Magnus watched all this happen before him, feeling like he’d swallowed a rock that lay heavily in his belly as the happy bubble they had lived in for a short two days burst before them.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t the happiest bubble he’d ever been privy to living in. There were still wounds that lingered even after Catarina’s touch had cleared away the last bruises and scrapes.

Everyone was exhausted. Leadened legs dragging through the halls of the clinic as the able-bodied members of the team moved between the rooms of all the clinic’s occupants. Magnus had walked into the kitchen at one point to see Simon with his face laid down in his plate of jellied toast, and his hand starting to slide down the spoon into his dinosaur egg oatmeal. It had even become a normal sight to see Luke precariously seated on the chair next to Clary’s bed, snoring softly in between the steady beeps of her heart monitor. Isabelle seemed to be the only one that looked bright and bushy tailed at any given moment, but after Magnus had spied the multiple empty coffee canisters in the trash, he had his suspicions as to why that was.

Jace looked like he had been gutted, had said guts replaced, and then skipped several weeks’ worth of sleep. While he had gained much in the ways of confidence and belonging, something that Magnus could happily sense from even several rooms away, Jace was still raw from almost losing Clary in such an explosive way.

Magnus could relate to that. He still felt painful tugs at his heart each time his brain supplied flashes of memory from their time in Valentine’s hands. Alec’s screams echoing through his dreams, the empty, cut off feeling of having his abilities shut off still jolting him in surprise when someone else’s emotions hit him unexpectedly. The only thing that had put his soul at some sort of half-rest was hearing that the Ferals had been deemed safe to move to new homes, completely recovered. Magnus didn’t offer any goodbyes, seeing as he didn’t believe his well wishes would be received in any manner of _well._ But that was beside the point. They would lead normal lives now, thanks to Will. And in part, thanks to Magnus. It was a new peaceful feeling that he had regarding his own abilities, one that he didn’t think he’d ever achieve, but it was like looking in a mirror and for the first time loving what he saw. Inner peace.

Outwardly, Alec had seemed to recover quickly once the serum had been filtered from his blood. Cat had even released him from bed rest within a day with a clean bill of health and an order for him to go find himself a high sugar meal to amp him back up, something that Catarina still struggled to actually suggest as a medical advice. Alec was just a sweet exception, as Magnus put it, earning himself a small but genuine smile from the Elemental.

Inwardly though, Magnus knew there was going to be a lot of recovery to come. Guilt still plagued him like a lingering cold, going so far that the normally tactile man was withdrawn and hesitant to even get close to anyone. Almost like he had an actual cold he worried he’d infect the rest of them with.

Touch between the Lightwoods and with Magnus had been second nature to Alec though, and he would often unconsciously reach out several times a day to someone only for his hand to pause mid-air. After witnessing it several times, it finally clicked with Magnus that it looked like Alec was doing a remarkable impression of a mime doing the invisible wall gag. It would have been funny if it wasn’t so awfully tragic.

No amount of assurances from Magnus seemed to be enough to convince Alec that no one held any grudges against him. Alec had then pointed out that they may not, but that didn’t stop Alec from holding one against himself.

It was in situations like this that Magnus knew from experience that time would be the best healer for Alec.

But that wouldn’t stop Magnus from touching Alec as much as he could until then, just small reminders that Magnus wasn’t going anywhere. He took it as a personal victory every time he felt the love and gratitude waft off of Alec each time he snuck a caress, a hug, and sometimes even a few stolen kisses.

They had run out of time to focus on themselves though. The team had survived, and so did their responsibilities. Valentine may now have crucial information regarding the mutant network, leaving all of them vulnerable once more. Luke had already taken care of the mutants under their care.

Now it was time for him to take care of the young people under his direct protection.

* * *

“You’re splitting us up?”

Luke regarded his team with a stern look, not letting the last week of horror sway his feelings on the matter. Of course, he wanted to keep each of them within arms reach at any given moment, to be able to account for each of their heartbeats so that his inner animal would be satisfied that his pack was safe and whole. They didn’t have that luxury right now. They couldn’t give Jonathan any easy routes to find his team just to tear them apart again. Returning to their home, even staying together, provided him with too many clues to finding them.

“I know that we’re all still reeling a bit from the last week, but we can’t be dumb about this. Spreading out makes it harder to track us down through Psychic or normal human means. Valentine will be having him look for all of us grouped together. We can’t let them have any kind of advantage right now,” he said slowly and calmly.

He could see all of them chew on that like tasteless and dry jerky, struggling to swallow, but eventually Luke could sense that they were coming back to acceptance from their initial anger.

“You won’t be completely alone,” he assured them, “I’m pairing each of you up, so don’t panic just yet.”

Alec seemed the first to accept everything, his stiff shoulders relaxing a bit as a contemplative look crossed over his features, “Will we still be able to contact the other pairs?”

Luke winced, “Yes and no. You’ll all be able to contact me, but only for emergencies. I’m cutting all other communications in case Valentine has bought out government Big Brother type tracing or in case he’s got some other mutant under serum who can trace electronically like that girl we saved last year. We know he has the money and means to do both. Until the threat to our network is identified, we can’t do much more than lay low until this blows over or new information comes to light.”

Magnus could feel all three Lightwood’s anxiety growing in the room as Luke continued to talk about splitting into pairs. Magnus understood though. Pairs meant two by two. Not three very attached and very protective siblings who already have emotional trauma from being separated from another sibling. No matter what the pairings were, at least one of them would be separated for the first time, recent kidnappings notwithstanding, since they were children.

Luke, who knew his team better than anyone, already seemed aware of this going by the apologetic look he gave the three Lightwoods as he eventually addressed the gargantuan, glittering pink elephant in the room.

“And as much as I hate to ask this of the three of you, I know that it would be best if each of you were separated into the three pairings.”

All three of them were halfway out of their chairs before Luke even had time to raise his hand to calm them, “It’s not a punishment! You three have spent the last decade on the run from Valentine and human tracking. Your survival skills are beyond anything the rest of us can even begin to contemplate. You’re our best chance at keeping us all safe.”

Alec was slowly shaking his head, and Magnus could clearly see his hands begin to shake at the notion that he was going to be separated from his siblings. Isabelle looked about ready to use Luke as her new scratching post, and Jace’s growl would have put any self-respecting Feral to shame.

“Now, let’s all just take a deep breath here. This isn’t permanent. This is just us trying to be smart, right?” Magnus said, gently placing his hands on Alec’s chest as he pushed him back into his chair. If it were anyone else besides these siblings, Magnus may have had some heavily suggested business cards for family counseling at the ready, but he knew that the three of them were like this for a reason. It wasn’t them having attachment issues. Staying together like they had, relying on each other, the bonds they formed, those were a large part of how they had survived so long on the streets. Luke was right though. They gained skills out there, learned the best ways to hide.

Magnus looked down at the three siblings, all of them communicating silently with lingering glances and twitching eyebrows. The three of them were a single unit, a finely honed weapon in the shape of three very aesthetically pleasing young people. They knew it too. They knew that together they were a force to be reckoned with. What they were still learning though was that each one of them individually were forces in their own right too.

The tension had risen between the three siblings to where Magnus knew that if they were rubber bands they’d be all a micro centimeter away from snapping, but they had all sat back down, fuming silently as they waited for Luke to finish.

Magnus could feel the anxiety and worry already curling under Alec’s skin like worms.

Luke cleared his throat and lowered his voice sympathetically, “I know this will be hard for you three especially, but we’re going to be relying on you to get us through this. I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t think this was the best decision for all of us.”

Jace’s face looked pinched, but he still offered a sharp nod after he saw Alec’s shoulders drop in defeat. Isabelle didn’t move at all, her body held rigidly where she sat. Magnus could feel a multitude of emotions running through her despite the blank look on her face. He knew she was thinking of Max in that moment. In some way, all three of them were probably.

“Um, so who are we being paired up with?” Clary asked softly. Magnus glanced over at her, noting that she was gaining back the color in her cheeks again.

Simon perked up from where he was idly shifting an apple into an orange and back, probably still deciding on his breakfast then, “Oh man, it’s like science class all over again. My last lab partner before I got carted off to the facility was an absolute dead weight. Like I had to do everything. If one of our assignments would have been patty cake, I would have been slapping myself.”

“That actually sounds like a good assignment, you should get on that,” Jace muttered darkly, earning himself a punch to the arm from Clary and a sternly mouthed _behave_ from where she sat.

Luke loudly cleared his throat again, “To start, I’m going to be staying here with Cat. It’ll keep me in an easy place to find and contact if necessary, and I can protect the clinic if Valentine targets here.”

“That seems reasonable,” Magnus said with forced cheerfulness, still trying to lighten the mood of the room without having to resort to pushing happy onto everyone. Clary and Simon were the only ones who braved a grin in response.

“For the rest of you, I’ve got three locations that I think are relatively safe. Simon, I want you and Izzy to go to Maia’s new hideout. She and her surveillance team just evacuated to their beta site that I only just learned about last night. Jonathan shouldn’t know about it. Simon, I’m counting on you to help her set everything up. And Izzy, Maia is a good teacher and a talented Feral, you could learn a lot from her,” he added softly.

Isabelle didn’t say anything, but she at least nodded her head in acceptance. Simon looked far too pleased at his assignment, but Magnus didn’t think this would be a good time to make any joking comments on that.

Luke turned to Magnus, “I want you and Alec in the city. You’ll be the closest to our home base if we need to get back there for any reason. For now, it’s compromised, but I want the option if necessary, for Alec to guide you two through the woods so you can check in occasionally from a distance for any traps.”

“Right, of course.” Magnus replied, not bothering to hide his relief at being paired up with Alec. Not only would it mean his Lightwood escort would not be Jace, but it meant that he and Alec would have more alone time than ever before. Time for them to heal together, and maybe time for even more than that. At least some of the anxiety lessened from Alec’s aura when he knew that he would at least be with his Psychic. Magnus counted that as a win.

Clearly having at least, a semblance of mathematical knowledge, Jace perked up slightly as he realized that all he was left with as a pairing partner was the cheerful redhead sitting at his side. Going by her pleased smirk, she had figured it out too.

Luke sighed, “And that leaves Clary and Jace. Clary obviously needs some more recovery time, so I wanted to send you two somewhere with a lot of support and resources. I’m sending the two of you to Alicante. Queenie owes me a favor or two, so I’m cashing in. Just be careful around her. She likes to collect debts from people who don’t even realize they’re asking for things.”

The Lightwoods all frowned in unison.

“Alicante?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the separation anxiety begin!!!!


	3. Pending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finds purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my. I am so so sorry for the delays on this. This outline is beating me up so bad, lol. This was supposed to be a really quick 11 chapters and done fic and it has...mutated, for lack of a better term. I'm trying to work with the original outline while allowed a bit more freedom with the fluff and character development (neither of which were really supposed to be any in this fic....so you see my problem). Also am trying to fit in some "private" time for Alec and Magnus, and that has to be done PERFECTLY otherwise I will be too anxious to post it. So somehow, 11 has turned into 14 and I am reasonably sure it'll at least make it to 15 chapters total when it comes down to the end. Phew.
> 
> I know so many of you are pumped for this though, so I will muscle through and hopefully it doesn't come out a jumbled mess of chapters that seemingly lead nowhere! 
> 
> Thank you all for commenting, I read and treasure each and every one!

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since Luke had split them all up and sent them to their  _ temporary _ homes. 

It had been three weeks since Alec had last seen the faces of his siblings.

It had been three weeks since Izzy had tearfully hugged him tight around his neck, rubbing her chin against his shoulder like she used to do when they were younger and she was anxious.

It had been three weeks since he watched Jace step through Dot’s portal, Clary’s hand held tightly in his, and only turning back once to offer his brother a sad but hopeful nod goodbye.

It had been three weeks since Dot sent him and Magnus through their own swirling portal, the other side a complete unknown to both of them. 

Three weeks.

_ Three. _

It felt far longer.

Whatever he had imagined going forward, it certainly wasn’t what they actually encountered once they arrived. Stepping out of the portal, Alec and Magnus were greeted by the sight of an industrial, yet classy looking apartment, enormous by city standards. Books lined several walls, there was comfortable looking furniture spread around, there was even a porch outside that looked over the city. Magnus had seemed pleased, throwing himself onto the nearest plush couch after a full exploration of each room. Alec was stunned himself, but wasn’t about to complain.

When Luke had said they were going into hiding, he had pictured hiding himself and Magnus in abandoned buildings, or sketchy apartments run by a landlord that wanted nothing more than to be paid to turn his head the other way. He had not pictured living it up in a place that looked like a homemaking magazine had thrown up in it. Christ, who even needed that many pillows on a couch, let alone a bed?

Pleasant furnishings and potpourri (Magnus had to explain that one to him) baskets aside, it took several days of high alertness before Magnus had been able to pull Alec from his somewhat frantic and fretful state. It only came natural to him, having indulged in such a state for years while moving from box to dumpster, to hovel. Like introducing a stray cat to its new home each time. Hearing that Luke wanted him and his siblings on survival duty had awoken in him the same scared and paranoid kid that he thought had gone away once he’d finally settled into their home on the mountain. Several of their first nights were spent with Alec pacing along the perimeter of the apartment, rather than nestled in the large and insanely comfortable bed with Magnus tucked against his side. 

Frazzled nerves, only made worse by having just gone through that horrific mess with Jonathan, made it so he nearly jumped out of his skin every time anything so much as fell off a shelf. Magnus was of course supportive and as soothing as he could be, trying to distract Alec with soft words and gentle touches, and it made Alec feel more like a skittish wild colt, rather than a strong and dependable boyfriend.

As much as he just wanted to relax in those first few days, he just couldn’t seem to break out of his own mind. Anxious thoughts swam through his mind as easily as fish in a river, constantly popping up any time he tried to let his guard down.

Protect Magnus.

Don’t let them find you.

Stay hidden.

Protect Magnus.

Don’t let them take you away again.

Trust nobody but your family.

Protect Magnus.

Don’t let them force you to hurt your family again.

No slipping up.

Protect Magnus.

Don’t let your guard down.

You lose everything if you fail.

It didn’t help that there were no plants around. Their apartment resided in the middle of the city, the closest flora being some sad feeling saplings trying to grow out of the sidewalk down below and the basil and rosemary pots that someone was trying to grow on their porch nearby. His heart ached when he thought about his collection back home, withering away the longer they all stayed away from the mountain. He would possibly be able to revive them upon their return, but Alec hated that it was just one more thing falling apart before him. He was stuck here, just as they were stuck there. 

He would start his day on the porch, surveying the sky for any sight of a security drone hovering nearby for too long. Luke had assured him that the apartment, inside and out, was completely glamoured, no one would see or hear them, but Alec didn’t want to take a chance. It was only after the first few days of doing this that Magnus started to come outside as well, gracefully bending his body in some sort of martial art, yoga thing that Alec had no idea what it was besides beautiful and very arousing. Alec found himself trying very hard to focus on the sky with Magnus moving like  _ that _ so near. 

After that, he would do a perimeter walk for a while, stalking around the large rooms, looking out windows, checking for any weaknesses in their little fortress. Then he would find a spot to work out, doing planks, crunches, and push ups until his entire body was sore. He would have kept that up for hours if not for Magnus always calling to him that he had made breakfast for them. 

After breakfast Alec would become antsy, his thoughts turning dark and burdened with nothing to distract himself, brooding over books for hours as the words barely registered beyond recognition of it being written in English. There had been a few times he’d grabbed one in a different language only to not even realize until he had been staring at the first paragraph for far too long wondering why it didn’t make sense. He only pulled away when Magnus got up from the couch they were sharing, telling him it was time for lunch, or dinner, or to help him move furniture that didn’t look quite right in that corner, or to change the bed sheets, or join him for a bath. 

It took Alec an embarrassingly long time before he realized what Magnus was trying to do, and even longer before Alec could think of the words to bring it up. 

Things hadn’t necessarily been strained between them. They both still loved each other as much if not more than before, and Alec still felt his chest restrict each time Magnus smiled or laughed, or sighed softly in his sleep. Alec was just still…processing. He wanted to touch Magnus. Fuck, did he want to touch him, but he stopped short every damn time, a wave of guilt crashing over him and making the blood freeze in his veins like he was back in that cryo-pod. 

Magnus knew this, could obviously feel it radiating from Alec every time they were together, but he had not scolded Alec even once for his emotions. He had only offered small but heartfelt reminders that no one held any anger at Alec, and all the space that Alec needed to think things through. Only, that space was never too much space, and Alec couldn’t help but smile fondly when he realized that in true Magnus fashion, he knew exactly what Alec needed when it came to  _ space _ .  _ Space _ after all, did not have to be a physical thing. 

Alec, for all his reserved nature, was not a solitary creature. He had hardly been an elbows length away from his siblings growing up, and being alone in any way felt painfully wrong. He didn’t have his siblings here to lean on. No Izzy puttering around, humming to herself. No Jace crashing around, laughing loudly at whatever Izzy had just said. He did have Magnus though, and Magnus was making sure Alec knew that.

Just by being there in the morning out on the porch when Alec looked out over the city. By calling him back to reality, and making sure he ate instead of tortured himself with another circuit of the apartment or with his never ending supply of books he couldn’t even recall reading. By sitting with him on the couch in silence, digging his feet under Alec’s thigh to keep his toes warm but keeping the silence calm and deep. And by dragging him away at the end of the night, bellies full of a homecooked meal, and pulling him into their bed, snuggling close. 

All this, because while Alec needed time to think, to process, to fret, and to brood, he did not need to do that alone. Magnus was saying without words that he was there for Alec whenever he was ready to come out of his darkened headspace. 

And it was as soon as Alec realized that, that he was ready. 

Slowly, Alec closed the book in his lap, only just now noticing that it was a first edition Don Quixote as he set it down on the table in front of them. The room was cast in the golden glow of the sunset that was peaking through the large windows. They had been there for weeks, but it was the first time that Alec had noticed just how beautiful it made everything look. Including Magnus. 

He let his gaze travel up Magnus’ long and muscled legs that were currently propped up on Alec’s lap as he read from his own book in some language that Alec didn’t recognize. He was dressed…softly. Simple sweatpants and a worn looking sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. Something that normal people would wear while lazing around the house when they didn’t care what they looked like. Only somehow Magnus still made it look like he was ready for any runway at that very moment. 

A flutter of warmth overwhelmed Alec as he took in the man who had literally been by his side as he wallowed in his wallowing, or whatever Izzy would have called it had she been there too. 

Magnus perked up at the sudden change in Alec’s aura, his eyes lighting up when he turned his gaze away from his book and up at the Elemental.

“Well, hello there,” Magnus said with a relieved smile.

Alec returned it with a shy grin, “Hi.”

“You feel…lighter,” Magnus said carefully, placing his own book to the side as he let his gaze roam the air around Alec, taking in and cataloging each any every emotion there, “Not quite light, but not as if the weight of the mutant world was placed on your lovely shoulders.”

Alec nodded, fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of his sweater, “I’m, uh, I’m getting there, I think. Not as frazzled by being here at least,” he said honestly, after all, it had been three weeks without a peep of trouble that they knew of. 

Magnus’ smile turned sad, “I knew this distance wasn’t going to be easy for you.”

“No, but…you know that you’re enough too though, right? I know I haven’t been acting it, but having you here is more than enough, I’m just…” Alec trailed off, dropping his gaze into his lap as he searched for the words that had been eluding him for weeks. The source of all his fretful energy. 

“Alexander…” Magnus started slowly, leaning forward until he could gentle bump his forehead against Alec’s, “You know you’re dating an Empath, right? I’m always here if you need a name placed to the feelings that have become too muddled for you to see clearly. We all need our own time to process things, but I’ll always be here if you need me. Or we can get you an acorn and see what it does, it’ll be like one of those mood rings, but with more excitement and pizzazz.” 

Alec’s shoulders dropped as he let himself fold into Magnus, somehow two full grown men managing to curl up together on the small loveseat. Deeply he drew in a breath as he laid his head against the side of Magnus’, letting it out one large sigh. After a few moments passed, he began to feel fingers card through his hair, the practiced motion finally easing the rest of the muscles he had kept tensed up all this time. 

“What’s wrong with me then?” Alec asked into the fabric of Magnus' sweater.

Magnus chuckled, “Nothing at all. We all just went through something very traumatic, and we all handle it differently. For you…there’s just so much guilt. I know I’ve told you before that no one is angry with you, besides you. That means that the only way to assuage that guilt is to forgive yourself, since everyone else already has. So, what’s holding you back from doing that?”

Alec bit his lip as he pulled back a bit, remembering how it felt when he had been forced to hurt his loved ones. Every ounce of hate he held back then, the very thing that tied him to his puppeteer Valentine, had been converted to guilt it seemed. He had failed his family so spectacularly that he just couldn’t work past it, it seemed. Was he even capable of forgiving himself at this point? Nothing would take back what he did. Nothing would change the fact that he had struck Magnus. Nothing would change the fact that he had used his own Element to injure his team. His family. It was his duty to keep them all safe. He had failed. Just like he had failed Max all those years ago and was continuing to do now. He wasn’t doing anyone any good by just sitting around a nice apartment waiting for when they could crawl out of their little hideaway. 

He had Magnus, which was a blessing he couldn’t even begin to describe. Having him there was probably all that kept him from falling into a much darker pit he could never crawl out of himself. But their lives were not meant to be domestic bliss, just the two of them sequestered away alone. They were part of a team, a larger family. Through their shared bond, Alec knew that Magnus had more than a few moments where a feeling of longing would filter between them, usually when their friends came up in conversation. Magnus was hurting too, being so cut off from everyone. Everyone was hurting because of this, and Alec just wanted it all to end. 

They had no idea how Clary’s recovery was going, something that ate away at both of them. They didn’t know if Jace was okay, probably spending a lot of his time and energy caring for Clary. They had no idea if Luke was making progress in his investigations, or even if he and Cat had ended up having to go into hiding too. Izzy and Simon were completely unreachable with Maia shutting down all communications at her safehouse to avoid a breach of security. It was like they all were missing limbs, trying to function daily while trying to figure out how even to do that. 

Alec kept his hands folded in his lap, not trusting himself to reach out to Magnus again, “I don’t know if I can do that, Mags. I’m…just sitting here. When I do something wrong, I feel the need to fix it, but there’s nothing I can fix, is there?”

Magnus frowned, reaching out to grab hold of Alec’s clenched fists in his lap, gentle cupping them between his own, “What do you think is broken that needs to be fixed?”

Alec blinked, “Well, not really broken, but we’re all broken  _ up _ aren’t we? Because of that whole mess, and me letting in Valentine and Jonathan, we’re all separated. I’m just done with Valentine breaking up my family. I just want us all back together, like before…” he said, trailing off, a frown maring his features.

“Before we were taken?” Magnus asked gently.

“No…,” Alec said, his thoughts seemingly miles away, “Not like before. We haven’t been whole for longer than that...Magnus, I need to do something. I can’t just sit here anymore,” he said, urgency lighting up his eyes brighter than they had been in days.

Magnus sat back, eyes widened in surprise as the sudden shift in Alec’s aura as it sparked to life, newfound determination crackling like sparklers around him, “Of course, what do you need to do?” he asked cautiously.

“I need to start making a plan. An actual plan to get Max back.”

Magnus didn’t even pause before responding.

“I’ll help you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magnus - We got dis - Bane
> 
> Next up: We will see how everyone else is doing! :D

**Author's Note:**

> I promise, the chapters will be longer after this!


End file.
